Teacher Strikes: What Was OSSTF Offered?

The following has been floating about the 'net. I post it here for your information, consideration and discussion purposes. At first brush it seems pretty similar to the OPSBA initial offer to ETFO [Here] except the details are fleshed out a lot more. Your Comments and input are most welcome below:

Management Team Opening Bargaining Positions

The management team presented positions on the structure and content of collective agreements, on the definitions of “the parties” and of “teacher,” and on a central grievance process. They reserved on providing their positions on the issues of Benefits and E-Learning/ Dual Credits/Experiential Learning.

The OPSBA/Crown brief included a statement of “Context” that outlined the following concepts:

There would be no net monetary increases and any modest compensation adjustments would require offsets so that a “Net Zero” was achieved.

There would be no “superior provisions” allowed in local Bargaining Units that may have achieved such rights in the past. Central terms would apply to all so that some local Bargaining Units could see improvements on an item, while others would see no change or a reduction in rights.

The management positions on each of the issues are summarized below. Together they represent an unprecedented attack on the hard won gains made by OSSTF/FEESO over decades of difficult bargaining:

1. Salary, Wages and Direct Compensation

Elimination of all extra degree allowances.
There would be no pay increase not paid for thru other cuts to compensation.
The 97 day delay on salary grid movement would be on-going.

2. Maternity Benefits/SEB

Adult day school teachers would lose Maternity Benefits.
Locals w/ superior provisions 4 Maternity benefits in their CB lose them.

3. Short Term Paid Leaves

Local Bargaining Units with superior provisions for bereavement leave lose rights.
There would be no bereavement leave to attend the funeral of a cousin or friend.
Many Bargaining Units would lose access to currently available personal days.

4. Sick Leave

All members would see a loss in sick leave entitlements.
Some members would lose their access to sick leave.
Some members would see a decrease in pay for pro-longed illnesses.
Vulnerable members with recurring/chronic illnesses could see their entitlement to a full-time job lost to part-time status with a loss a reduction in sick leave entitlement.

5. O. Reg 274 – Hiring Practices

All language in local agreements regarding hiring practices would be removed.
O.Reg 274 would be recommended to be revoked by all parties.
Discredited hiring practices would reappear.
Nepotism and discrimination would reappear.

6. Professional Practice/Professional development/Supervision/Unassigned Time
Workload would increase.

8 of 8 periods would be assigned to Library, Guidance, Special Education Resource, Cooperative Education, Student Success, Alternative, and Adult Education teachers with no APAs.

60 half periods of APAs as on-calls, supervision, student or teacher mentoring would be assigned to classroom teachers.

4 of 4 in any combination of classes and APAs would be assigned to occasional teachers.

There would be more supervisions and on-calls assigned during the work day and any local controls on the timing or frequency of these assignments would be removed.

Duties could be assigned to teachers outside the school day with no limits.
No teacher would be able to have an expectation of self-directed preparation time.
Occasional teachers would be fully assigned in all periods without limits for the entire work day.

7. Diagnostic Assessment

Boards would determine the type, frequency and timing of diagnostic assessment tools used by teachers.
Boards would establish the mechanism to be used by all teachers to record the results and these would be used to inform teacher practices.
Teachers’ professional judgement would be further devalued.
You would have to assess and evaluate what you are told, when you are told, and how you are told.

8. Class Sizes

Individual class sizes would increase everywhere.
All local limits on class sizes would be removed.
No single class would have an absolute maximum.
Workload improvements would be lost in all Bargaining Units.

9. Principal/VP Return to the Bargaining Unit

Teachers could be assigned to admin positions without limit on their activities.
There would be no limit on the length of these temporary administrative positions.
Bargaining rights (seniority) would accrue without union dues payment.
Placement of administrators back into the Bargaining Unit positions ahead of Bargaining Unit members with full seniority and without payment of union dues.

WHY STRIKE? A SUMMARY:

Every local Bargaining Unit in province stripped of hard won improvements to workload.

Years of contract gains would be reversed in one collective agreement.

Every teacher in the province would experience a significant decrease in their professional autonomy.

Every teacher in the province would find his/her compensation eroded.

YOUR COMMENTS:

Teacher Free Speech Spring 2015 Contract Guide!

My Blogsite Acronym Guide is @ Here! More teacher strike news links at my Teacher Free Speech April News + Views blog @ News!

UPDATES: [Affiliate Overview Below]

June 18

OPSBA President Michael Barrett's teacher smear campaign continues unabated. He publicly denounces ETFO for requesting a $3.2 billion raise, including 3% a year plus cost of living. ETFO President Sam Hammond replies that Barrett is just trying to divert public attention from the board report card fiasco, which seems to have backfired in their face @ Star

In typical fashion the Toronto Sun happily jumps on the OPBSA bandwagon for some more teacher bashing @ Blizzard

ETFO's media release points out that it has not tabled their salary position yet. The focus of the stalled CB talks has been on learning conditions @ Hammond

ETFO's Sam Hammond: Good batting average with OPSBA smears!

COMMENTARY: Of course the teacher unions would've each prepared an initial proposal, containing a salary clause. You can see OECTA's, which mirrors Barrett's claims about ETFO @ OECTA It reads: 

"Salary Grids •  All teachers move through and across the salary grid as per the collective agreement •  Increase all grids, allowances, rates by COLA +3% each year of the agreement"

Sam Hammond is wisely pointing out that the focus of the stalled talks has been over working conditions and that Barrett is hence being disingenuous, as salary has not been brought up yet. Think about it: One seriously doubts that ETFO, nor the other teacher unions, haven't taken an initial position on the salary issue, they would've needed to -in their initial proposal! In downplaying it, they have left themselves open to subterfuge and let's face it, do you know what your union's own position is? On salary? The one most of you voted to strike for?!?

Hopefully Barrett will not be able to succeed with teacher bashing where negotiations have failed. So far ETFO in particular has been very adept at deflecting the attacks, witness the boards' about face on issuing report cards. One wishes ETFO continued success with the trustees latest "salary" attack , not because the unions' secretiveness here isn't a sore point, for any responsible open eyed union member, but because of Barrett's ultimate salacious intent! Still, the semantics grow wearisome. Quite obviously by now, CB talk has completely failed! Preps for a fall province wide strike by the affiliates definitely seems in order, with no time wasted, come September!

Further news links and coverage of OPSBA's June teacher attack strategy is available on my Teacher June News + Views blog @ Here!

May 29

A very shameful moment in Ontario labour history: OLP + PC's vote back to work legislation into law on a 64 to 18 vote. Note that a lot of MPP's didn't vote! @ CBC

Here's the OSSTF media release @ OSSTF 

Sandals plans on a "cooling off period" because the OSSTF "union executive" is "probably upset." Negotiations will now probably drag on through the summer with major labour disruptions expected in the fall @ Star

The Toronto Star's Regg Cohn engages in the media teacher bashing focusing on the OSSTF strike pay. He ignores the inconvenient truth that teachers have been a year without a contract and blames OSSTF for being obtrusive and obstinate in reacting clearly too soon against contract stripping @ QP

CPCML Ontario Political Forum provides a very detailed series of articles on developments in our teacher protest movement over the past month @ CPCML

May 28

OLRB ruling imposes a 2 week moratorium  on OSSTF to "cleanse" the local strikes of central bargaining issues @ AM980

Here is the text of the OLRB ruling @ 0378-15-U

OSSTF plans to resume the strikes June 10th after the necessary changes made @ Media Release

ETFO to step up WTR strategy June 1st @ ETFO

Irony of ironies! New OECTASE 2014-16 contract gives the secretariat up to 50% of their salary as a retirement gratuity, along with a substantial raise. Nice work if you can get it @ Download

Meanwhile MOE Sandals says the government will go proceed with back to work legislation so students can finish the school year @ June 10?

OSSTF negotiations are stalled again, despite mediation, with the "employer" still focused upon attacking teachers and demanding contract strips @ CB

Bill 103: the "Protecting the School Year" Act will legislate teachers back to work should they return June 10th. MOE Sandals claims the situation is unacceptable @ Bill

Here's a handy timeline for the teacher strikes going back to Bill 122 in April 2014 @ Star

Here's how the teacher strike will effect your pension plan @ OTPP

May 15

OSSTF explains the subtle complexities of the province's complicated GSN [Grants for Special Needs] formula @ GSN

MAY 1

ETFO's 2014 Bargaining Goals are shown here, but they are still holding their initial contract offer close to their chest. Quite frankly, I don't see how teachers from any of the affiliates can be expected to go on strike without knowing what their union contract proposal is, though strike we must @ ETFO

FYI: ETFO's official website is @ ETFO, OSSTF's @ OSSTF and OECTA's @ OECTA

APRIL 29

OSSTF ETFO + OECTA leaders are quoted about the "net zero" salary negotiations. None of them deny it's an issue. Fortunately the National Post fairly focuses upon their comments about underfunding of education, class size and the other issues at stake @ Post

A glut of unemplyed new teachers might undermine the prospects for a successful teacher strike. Unfortunately this Post writer indulges in some traditional union bashing tactics here, emphasizing the unions want financial gains and more benefits, without focusing on the many cuts and unacceptable management issues that the province is actually trying to force through! One wonders how he knows what OSSTF demands actually are when even the members don't know. See Reader Comments below. Article is @ Post

President James Ryan [left]: layest OECTA "Bad Boy" or simply  misunderstood?

Here's the Toronto Sun article wherein OECTA President James Ryan allegedly claimed OECTA would not be fighting for a pay raise. Quite frankly I don't see that anywhere here but please correct me if I am wrong!? View the Reader discussion below, and also the article @ Sun


APRIL 26

DIY OECTA teacher "fully know your team" assignment: Here's a link to the OECTA Secretariat contract that they negotiated for themselves in 2012-14 @ Download Here's the 2012-14 MOU that they helped negotiate and impose on you @ Doc Contrast? Compare? Conclusion ....? Anybody ....?

OECTA continues "manufacturing consent" [Link] to legitimize the dubious redux elements on it's rehashed MOU 2012 CB team that brought us the Bill 115 "OECTA MOU Roadmap". Note the effort to create an atmosphere of trust in the current PDT talks, among the often largely benign membership, with the following glittering generality, invariably included with all it's regular, secret "code of silence" member CB updates:

OECTA has a long history of using its collective strength to promote and protect the interests of all workers. This will be especially important in this round of bargaining, as the proposal from the employer side of the provincial bargaining table, which consists of the Ontario Catholic School Trustees’ Association (OCSTA) provincial bargaining team and representatives of the Government of Ontario, clearly targets our most vulnerable members.

 OECTA will continue issuing its series of Strike Vote Updates highlighting the impact of the employer’s initial proposal on you, the member, in preparation for our province-wide strike vote on April 23-24, 2015. 

The Strike Vote Updates, in and of themselves, are not without merit, as far as providing some details on the disconnect between the employer and the unions bargaining goals at the table. The need to now mobilize members for a strike vote, after sitting the last one out, is of great import. However, one might well be very wary of any further assumptions of the unions ongoing " ... long history of using it's collective strength to promote and protect the interest of all it's workers" after July 5th 2012. OECTA's secretive, arbitrary agreement to contract stripping and the subsequent jackboot dismissal of most any and all legitimate member dissent is already heavily documented here in my teacher free speech site archives, so I will not rehash it now.

OECTA: Walk the talk?

Suffice to say, actions always speak louder than words. We will watch with bated breath to see if OECTA will put its balls on the line this time around by joining the OSSTF and ETFO strikers in a timely and effective manner. With that in mind, one wonders if any OECTA units will be joining their colleagues from the other affiliates on the picket lines anytime soon? This fall? Or at all?

In other OECTA news, here is how a provincial Supplemental Employment Benefit [SEB] plan is projected to negatively effect the different units across the province:
 

• Units that have Supplemental Employment Benefit (SEB) plans that are superior to the eight weeks found in the OCSTA/Crown initial proposal will have them stripped away.
• Units with additional leave provisions that are superior to those found in the OCSTA/Crown initial proposal will be stripped away. 
• Units that have teachers who control their planning and preparation time will have those conditions stripped away.
• Units that have Long Term Disability (LTD) paid for by the employer will have it stripped away, and teachers will be required to pay the premium. 
• Teachers, who gained the right to exercise professional judgement during diagnostic assessments, will have that stripped away. Boards will now dictate ALL aspects of student diagnostic assessment.

 Alas, it's to bad these final OECTA words on the missive hadn't been uttered in 2012. One hopes this isn't now a case of too little too late; 

Everything that has been fought for over the years is about to be lost. We can’t let this happen.

April 15th 

OSSTF President Paul Elliott

OSSTF joined OECTA in walking away from their respective provincial bargaining table talks expressing great frustration with MOE/ OPSBA. OSSTF cites the "employers" narrow "management rights agenda" as having created an impasse. OSSTF Durham is poised to strike April 20th, OSSTF Peel on the 25th! More below, and @ OSSTF

On April 8th, OECTA walked away from the provincial bargaining table, notifying the "employer" [MOE/ OCSTA] that they will not return until after the member April 23-24 strike votes are completed! The province had tabled a series of documents that would significantly strip teachers’ "rights to recall" from redundancy, full-time to part-time employment, and return to full-time employment. The changes would undermine almost all of the local OECTA collective agreements. OECTA has declared that it's clear the "employer" has no intention of bargaining with the affiliate in a serious and reasonable fashion.
 
OECTA James Ryan states “There is a clear indication today that the Ontario government, despite assurances from the Premier and the Minister of Education’s office, is not serious about bargaining in good faith. Today we saw that their public statements do not match their actions at the bargaining table.”

Another OECTA hot button is the MOE/ OCSTA ["employer"]'s plan to eliminate Reg. 274 and the 2012 MOU provisions on "Fair Hire". The impact at the Catholic boards could be:

No interviews will be granted on the basis of seniority.

No minimum qualifying period before eligibility for 
LTO or permanent positions.

School boards can ignore the most experienced
 and qualified members.

Eliminate the requirement to interview current 
members before hiring external to the bargaining unit.

No reasons need be provided to members who 
were not considered or not selected for available 
LTO and permanent positions.

No debriefing of applicants who may have 
 been interviewed for LTO/permanent positions.

Current members will lose exclusive entitlement
to apply for, or receive, LTO/permanent positions.

The elimination of the Occasional Teacher seniority
lists and Occasional teachers seniority.

No LTO list – LTO work is distributed randomly
as the board/administrator sees fit.

No fair and equitable distribution of Occasional 
Teacher bargaining unit work.

No requirement for board to fill LTO/
permanent positions with qualified candidates.

No accrual of experience for any purpose while 
working as a certified Occasional Teacher.

Eliminate the currently bargained Occasional 
Teacher evaluation process, which will be replaced 
by a unilaterally developed board process.

No limits to the number and nature of Occasional 
Teacher evaluations.

No barrier or limit to the exercise of denominational
rights by school boards at any time during the hiring 
process for all LTO and permanent positions.

Why is the province so hellbent on sticking it to the teachers?!?

Hello Readers!

Please note that it isn't the intent of my all affiliate teacher free speech site to continue posting all the many, various bulletins, notices and media releases from the ongoing Ontario teacher contract talks, including those from AEFO, CUPE, ETFO, OPSBA, OCSTA, OECTA, OSSTF. Ditto the MOE. The topic is of great interest. However, it is no longer the only one for many if not most of my readers. 

If I can be of help with advice for setting up a blog site of your own, please let me know! * You are most welcome to take the contract issue on at greater depth instead if you so please. 

You see, I firmly believe a stronger teacher free speech movement should contain a wide variety of such social media sites and services in order to flourish. It can provide more greater, widespread, enriched and intellectually challenging points of view. Even when everybody else is wrong except for me! :-) For more info, and to better get my gist, please see my "Spring Blogsite Guide" @ []. Also my blog on "Teacher Free Speech and Grass Root Renewal" @ Here. 

Social media searches, news links, summaries and your reader comments provide the bulk of the public information made available below for our ongoing, open forum discussions here on my blog site. As you know, this is an independent teacher based grass root service. Please go to your affiliate website member areas, news distribution networks and union meetings for the official and complete news from your affiliates perspective. 

Various resources, past and supplementary links will follow below. A social media search since your last Teacher Free Speech Winter 2015 Contract Guide [Here] provides the following general information about the recent state of the Ontario teacher unions provincial negotiations from within the public domain:

ETFO:

ETFO President Sam Hammond explains to members that they have applied for conciliation, on a video also shared on Youtube @ Hammond

ETFO's central bargaining team prepared and presented detailed rationales for the membership on a variety of issues. That included how ETFO's issues would benefit their students and schools. The issues included: 

• the system-wide benefits of supporting teacher/occasional teacher professionalism and judgement;
• the advantages of smaller class sizes in FDK, Junior, and Intermediate classes;
• how tackling ETFO members’ workload challenges supports quality instruction;
• the need to address special education concerns in elementary schools;
• the introduction of additional Ministry initiatives that result in an ever increasing workload for teachers and OTs;
• a “best practices” approach to implementing Regulation 274 with a goal of achieving consistent hiring practices province-wide;
• why it’s vital to student and staff safety that daily OTs have access to classroom keys.

ETFO Response to the OPSBA initial contract offer was "Concessions are a "No Go!" What's not up for discussion at the teacher and OT central table?  ETFO’s won't agree to:

a “management rights” agenda from OPSBA that involved removing provisions negotiated over decades. 

a compensation package that did not address the members’ significant financial sacrifices during the last round of bargaining -- as well as the continuation of the 97 day delay on salary grid movement during this school year -- was unacceptable. 

  

ETFO will be providing more member information over the coming weeks in ETFO bargaining bulletins and on it's Our Union Our Values Our Profession collective bargaining website at:  www.etfocb.ca.

OECTA:

OECTA advised it's members about the "Quashing of Superior Provisions". During the recent provincial negotiations, the MOE and OCSTA "employer" side, stated that all provisions negotiated at the central table would form the basis of the next collective agreement. There would be no "superior provisions" throughout the province.

The "employer" side wants any benefit or right negotiated in good faith and signed by the parties during Provincial Discussion Table (PDT) discussions or local bargaining in the past, to now be stripped from ALL collective agreements across the province. However they must know that other recent collective agreements including the Ontario Nurses’ Association (ONA) and British Columbia Teachers’ Federation (BCTF) have maintained superior provisions in their collective agreements. Their position is in direct opposition to OECTA's initial proposal which states: “As determined by the Association, should any of the 2012-14 collective agreements contain superior provisions to any central term(s) or conditions, those superior provisions shall endure and prevail.”

A complete summary of what would be impacted in the various local collective agreements will be provided by the local units. Here's a brief overview of what they'd lose:
 

• Units that have Supplemental Employment Benefit (SEB) plans that are superior to the eight weeks found in the OCSTA/Crown initial proposal will have them stripped away.
• Units with additional leave provisions that are superior to those found in the OCSTA/Crown initial proposal will be stripped away. 
• Units that have teachers who control their planning and preparation time will have those conditions stripped away.
• Units that have Long Term Disability (LTD) paid for by the employer will have it stripped away, and teachers will be required to pay the premium. 
• Teachers, who gained the right to exercise professional judgement during diagnostic assessments, will have that stripped away. Boards will now dictate ALL aspects of student diagnostic assessment.

OECTA basically warned members that everything they've fought for over the years could now be lost. They can’t let this happen. OECTA will further explain the impact of the employer’s initial proposal using a series of member bulletins, in preparation for it's province-wide strike vote on April 23-24, 2015. 

Upcoming OECTA Strike Vote Rallies

Here's something ridiculous: the following April 7th update, now publicly surfacing on the internet, comes with an OECTA warning NOT to share! I'm leaving a lot out because OECTA obviously seems to think many of it's big secrets are more secret and important than they are. Also as a good will gesture because we know a lot of them still mean well [James?!?]. However, it's not exactly reassuring coming from the union that brought you the surprise MOU after much denial to the contrary, even tho it's apparently changed a leaf. Bizarre!!!!
 

Waterloo
Wednesday, April 8 – 5:00 p.m.	Waterloo Inn
Dufferin-Peel
Thursday, April 9 – 7:00 p.m.	Powerade Centre
Huron Superior
Thursday, April 9 – 6:30 p.m.	Grand Gardens North
Superior North
Saturday, April 11 – 2:00 p.m.	Nipigon Curling Club
Halton
Monday, April 13 – 4:00 p.m.	Oakville Conference Centre
Huron-Perth
Monday, April 13 – 5:15	Mitchell Community Centre
St. Clair
Monday, April 13 – 5:00 p.m.	UAW Local 251

Toronto

Wednesday April 15 - 5:00
p.m.                                       Massey Hall

FOOTNOTE: START YOUR OWN BLOG!

* = See the "Create a Blog" link for the "Blogger" program I use at the top right of your screen. It is a very easy, user friendly system to set up and run. Numerous templates and gadgets are available to customize your page and services for free. If you prefer you can DIY. If you aren't so technically apt you should be able to get some computer whiz kid [Hi Nick!] to start it up for you like I did, at a very reasonable cost. A blogsite is much, much easier and quicker to use at a fraction of the cost, time and energy than a regular website and the possibilities are virtually endless. Be that as it may, if you'd like to talk, seek, more advice, or swap ideas, please do not hesitate to contact me via my gmail address [davechiarelli.gmail.com]

RESOURCES + LINKS:

My blog on Free Speech and Grass Root Renewal is Here. 

The initial contract offers are @ OECTA @ OCSTA @ ETFO OPSBA @ OSSTF OPSBA

News links are provided in the "Teacher + Union" sections of my monthly all affiliate Teacher Free Speech News and Views blogs @ Jan @ Feb @ March @ April

Here's the contract guide from last winter @ Here! Last fall is @ Here! Last summer @ There!

Here's a study guide for our new Collective Bargaining Act [2014] @  Bill 122

CB? MOE?? ETFO?!? OECTA?!?! OLRB?!?!? OSSTF?!?!?! My Blogsite Acronym Guide is @ Here! 

COMMENTS: 

Good News: Happy Easter!

Hi everybody!

This Easter, it's my hope that we each be renewed in our teacher fight against injustice, whatever your faith might be. Let's look for the good within ourselves and each other. We must first and foremost focus there within so that the world around us can become a better place to be, for ourselves and future generations.

Personally, God is fine, it's organized religion I don't like. I'm moving my favourite picture of Jesus here today. He is iconoclastic. That's my son of God! He is always somewhere on my site, perhaps subtly, but always there. That's the way I hope our sense of God will always be! We don't just wheel him out for a holiday, then put him away for another year. 

I hope you have an enjoyable, restful, peaceful Easter with your family, loved ones, friends and each other, whether it is a religious holiday for you or not. It's a good opportunity to get recharged for the good fight ahead. These are difficult times! No doubt we're going to need it!

Pax!

David C

Santiago de Cuba Diary: Meet Mike + Jim!

[An Afternoon at the Casagrande Hotel, 1996 ...]

“Jim. Mike. Let me get the next round.” The guys nod eagerly. Sweat trickling down their hot pudgy faces. Loud Hawaiian shirts cockily unbuttoned in the stifling mid day heat. They sit teetering on their chairs. 

I'm slouching back at my favourite table in the shaded elegance of the Casagrande Hotel. Leisurely enjoying a fat Cuban cigar. Rolling it around between my fingers. Listlessly stare off into space. We're seated at the terrace bar. Our empty glasses lined up before us. Quite frankly I wish I'd gone to the market with Mati. Or visited the Toronto Friendship school. Oh well, its not often that I make the Santiago tourist scene.

Cuban minstrels stroll lazily across the shiny, marble, terrace floor. Wander among the ornate wooden tables. Strumming folksy ballads. Hoping for a tip. Unfortunately drowned out by laughter as we boisterous extranjeros excitedly knock back our cheap rum drinks. Slinky Cubanas giggle gingerly at our loud boisterous jokes. I can see the tour buses lined up around the park below. The Casagrande is unusually busy. Hell, it's packed.

Gazing over at the grand old mahogany bar, I search for a waiter. They huddle apprehensively about the cashier. Smoking cigarettes. Dickering with the drinks. Our bills. Thoroughly overwhelmed by the crowds, they throw up their hands in despair. Silently cursing us. Tourism has been very slow to catch on in Santaigo. Quite frankly, I bet they don’t have the slightest idea what to do.

Shaking my head in dismay, I know it’ll be a long wait before they get over to our table. Usually I have the place pretty much to myself.  I'll prefer to sit alone or with a Cuban friend or two. Always at the same seat overlooking the park. The city centro. Even then it takes forever to get a drink. 

I look over studying Mike and Jim. I arrived today to find them already here at my jam packed bar perch with their Cuban amigas. Two typical Santiago mulattas. Tight spandex. Tan skin. They casually light their cigarettes. Check us out. Wink at me. Ho boy. 

Growing annoyed, trying to make the best of the situation, I wave to the waiters. One looks up. Recognizes me. Smiles. Wanders off into the crowd. So much for that.

“So. How long you been here?” 

Mike rolls his eyes with a bored shrug. He smiles. Lights a cigar, “A few days. How about you?” 

Absently, I gaze at Cespedes Park watching the steady parade of tour buses arrive and depart. I'm always amused by the Cuban carnival of life. The all too familiar hustlers. Jinetera. Bored amigos y amigas. Tired shoppers. Teenagers skipping school idly rest on the benches under the sprawling palm trees. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Sizing up the tourists. Peering at the hotel terrace. Watching us watch them. A Cuban theatre of the mind. Trying to catch our eye.

Sluggishly the police leaning against the Cathedral across from the park, seek refuge among the cool, dark shadows. Keeping the peace from behind mirrored shades. An ominous presence, probably lost on most of the visitors here. Too hot to wade into the melee, they chat up the chicas ambling over hoping to join us at the Casagrande hotel.

 “Since Friday.” Mike flicks his match into the ashtray. Stares distractedly at the crowded steps. At all the young chicas. Smiling demurely at us. Hoping to get invited in. “I’m getting married.” 

“Congratulations.” I sit up. Surprised. His amiga covers her mouth with a dainty hand. Wrinkles her eyes. Giggles. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Dunno yet.”, Mike winks. Throws his arm over her shoulder. Nuzzling up close, she plants a big wet kiss on his cheek. “Jim and I met these two on our way in.”

He pauses, gallantly puffing on his cigar, tapping the ashes into the huge glass ashtray on our table. “They don’t speak English very well. I don’t speak Spanish either but .... er .... David, meet um .... I think these are Yamile ...... and Maria, or something like that. Jeez these Cuban names!”

Politely I nod to the girls, “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Look. I got a ring.” Pulling it out of his pocket, he shows it to the girls. They look at Mike. At each other. Exchange excited glances. Babbling away in Spanish. 

“I’m still confused.”, I smile weakly.
   

“Well. I’m going to find a nice Cuban girl. Get married. Take her back home to Canada with me!” 

“It’s a lot more complicated than that Mike.” I puff on my cigar. Wondering whom he’s putting on.
   

“Yeah? They sure are friendly. I’ll meet somebody.” He smiles. Slowly purses his lips, lazily blowing a big smoke ring in the air. “I’ll find a way.” 

“How are you going to talk with them?”

Undaunted, Mike pulls out his pocket dictionary. Waves it at me with a grin. I wag my head in dismay, ”But how will you know if you’re right for each other?”

“Listen man! Cubanas are great! I want one!" He pauses as if in mid thought, "I’m sick of Canadian chicks. The damn attitude thing.”

Staring at me intently, determined to make his point, he begins to count off their Cubanas' qualities on his finger tips, "No chip on their shoulder. Traditional. Very feminine. Sexy as hell. That’s all I need to know. Why, just check these two out!“

“You’re damn right, they’re fucking gorgeous!” Jim sits up. Bleary eyed. Dangling his hand over Maria’s shoulder, he casually fondles her tit. With a grin Maria leans over. Runs her fingers down his chest. Blows me a kiss. “And uninhibited .... is that the word?", he shrugs, "Boy do they like to screw!” 

“Ha. Ha.” Mike chuckles,” You gonna marry Maria, Jim?”

“Naw. She’s too old. Anyway I just wanna get laid. Jeez, it's so easy down here. Look at them all!” Sizing up Mike, with a glint in his eye, he looks around the bar, and whistles amused, “I suggest you just do the same good buddy!” 

“No way.” Mike grimly shakes his head. Stares sadly into his empty glass. At the bar. “I’m tired of all that bullshit. This time I’m serious.”

“Yeah?” Jim snickers, ”Cut the crap. I bet the ring is just a scam so ya don’t have to pay.”

I wrinkle my brow. Growing tired of  their nonsense and obscenities. “How old do you think Maria and Yamille are?”

“Hmmm. Early twenties?” Jim sighs in exasperation. He smiles. “I like them young.”

“How young Jim?”

“Well, I met one in front of the high school wearing some kind of uniform!”, he laughs, ” I dunno. The bloody school boys brought her over! Introduced me for a buck!” Resting his arms a top the table, he taps his fingers. Intently staring me in the eye. "I went to pick her up after supper. Fucking mom even came out to meet me. Kissed me on the cheek. Made me promise I’d bring her home by midnight.”

“How was it?” Mike whispers. Looking at Jim. At me. His eyes big as saucers. 

“Hmm. Small titties. Hips. Real skittish.” Scratching his head, he shrugs, "Kinda exciting, maybe, but I gave her $10. Sent her back home early in a cab. Nothing happened.” 

“Good God Jim. If she was underage, that could've been rape!”, I gasp. Placing my cigar in the ashtray, I squirming uneasily in my chair.

"Bet it wouldn't have been the first time!" snickers Mike.

“Ha ha!" Jim rolls his eyes. Grins. “Hey relax! This is Cuba man. It’s okay. Age of consent here is 15, if the parents agree. Everybody seemed like a happy camper to me!”

“You fucking idiot!” Sick to my gut, clenching my fists, I jump up. Angrily push back my chair, "That’s because $10 is a month wages. They desperately need the cash.”

“Hey! Don’t get your ass in a knot with me pal!”, Jim angrily pounds his fat fist on the table, fire in his bloodshot eyes. He stops. Nervously gazes about the suddenly silent bar, perturbed by all the unwanted attention. "Bah, I’m going to get a drink. Whatchya want Mike?”

Sitting back down, arms crossed, I try to catch my breath. Watch coolie as Jim struts off to the bar, indignantly hiking up his jeans. “What’s his name?”

“Dunno, just Jim. We all just go by first names here.” Mike stares at me suspiciously. Nervously draws on his cigarette, "Maybe you better cool it okay?” 

“You’re both nuts.” Getting up to go, I reach for my backpack, angrily pushing back my chair.

“Yeah?”, Mike shouts.” Well, we’re on vacation. Lots of us come down here for that. Maybe get a little drunk and do some crazy things. What’s it to you, eh?”

“Up yours!”

To be continued .....